The Last Resort..

I was struggling to catch my breath as I was sinking in water.. I knew nothing about what to do coz I was just 11 at that time..After a long struggle for few minutes, I was pulled out of the water..This bitter memory of mine still haunts me till date..The scene of being inches close to death still remains fresh in my mind..

As I think about the incident I really wonder, what could have happened if I had gone a bit closer to death..How excruciating the pain could have been??..The very thought of experiencing death has always been a phobia for me..When I come to think of it, firstly it snatches away our loved ones from us..Well, to be practical, there will be a day when we have to face the death of our loving parents, friends and well wishers with whom we share those golden moments of a lifetime..Death shows no mercy upon anyone even though an ocean of tears are shed..When I express such fear of death, people say I am too young to think of it..This sort of answers really piss me off..I feel I am just being practical..I can't really help the fear coz I really cannot imagine a life bereft of my loved ones..

This is just a one sided perception of the fear..The other side is what am I going to do when it comes to swallow me??..And how much pain am I supposed to experience at the time??..The scriptures say the pain of death is like the combined sting of a million scorpions..These thoughts have always haunted me..Although I found comfort when I took refuge under spirituality, They still worry me at times..Arrival by birth and departure by death..Is this a mere law of nature??..

I don't really think so..There must be an unattainable height that is beyond the bounds of human perception..I wonder why people never think in such a manner..It really astonishes me how people surrender themselves to the flow of nature..They take birth, do some crap and die on a fine day..By doing so, what are they really attaining in life..Nothing..The crores gathered or the degrees attained in education, nothing comes along..I have tried a trillion times trying to make people understand but nobody really cares to come out of the bloody ignorance..Everybody is immersed in some sh** that really makes no difference..Well, even if people try to restrain my thoughts or even if they never bother to give a damn about it..I dont really care..I am only interested in mounting the unattainable height that is considered to be on the verge of reality and that which cannot be percieved by human intelligence..I prefer to choose the path that was less travelled..In fact, the path that was never travelled..

P.S : If you feel these thoughts of mine donot make radical sense..Then try holding your breath for more than 120 seconds..The pain you feel is just like reading the preface of a book called "DEATH"..


On this lonely night, I call upon your name,
hoping that the miles between us would fade..
People say it is all a part of the game,
but the emptiness within, still cuts me like a blade..

It was when I looked into your hazel eyes,
that I have acknowledged the beauty of creation..
I Wish to see them close again in the moments of surprise,
when I kissed you with the heat of passion..

I have shed an ocean of tears,
just to experience the warmth of your hug, once again..
The holy god might laugh at this wish when he hears,
but I wonder why this is the only comfort I seek in pain..

Its been ages since I have seen you,
I shall dare not to think that you have found a man..
I wonder if you really did, but I aint got a clue and if its true,
I only wish he could atleast love you half as much as I can..

I know it might be too late,
but I really can't get enough of you..
I wanna break the walls of fate with all my might,
Just to express myself that your love has struck me like glue..