The BREAK-UP



On this lonely night, I call upon your name,
hoping that the miles between us would fade..
People say it is all a part of the game,
but the emptiness within, still cuts me like a blade..

It was when I looked into your hazel eyes,
that I have acknowledged the beauty of creation..
I Wish to see them close again in the moments of surprise,
when I kissed you with the heat of passion..

I have shed an ocean of tears,
just to experience the warmth of your hug, once again..
The holy god might laugh at this wish when he hears,
but I wonder why this is the only comfort I seek in pain..

Its been ages since I have seen you,
I shall dare not to think that you have found a man..
I wonder if you really did, but I aint got a clue and if its true,
I only wish he could atleast love you half as much as I can..

I know it might be too late,
but I really can't get enough of you..
I wanna break the walls of fate with all my might,
Just to express myself that your love has struck me like glue..

18 Responses so far.

  1. Nethra says:

    Keeping in mind that this is your first attempt, it is pretty good. By the way, did you mean the words or just wrote them.
    Anyways, nice try. :)

  2. Awesome ra... And if I am not wrong this is a real-life story.

    Hope 'that' persons sees it and grants you redemption :)

  3. So does dis girl really exist?? Anyways keep going dude...and i think u might want to re-do the ending. Sweet one

  4. neeraj says:

    omg dude ..awesome bey
    bt d toughest challenge to me is to figure out d gal :P
    :D

  5. good one dude... u seem to be very romantic in life by seeing all ur posts... so have u actually gone through this? dude btw nice one to read...

  6. Amazing man!never thought a so called 'poetry tyro' could start off so big!!nice read..a poem soo maudlin can be written iff the experience is felt:).. jus work on ur tenses a bit n ur sure to go a long way..good job!

  7. man u write nice nd the way u represent ur post is amazing...like a poetry nd in a consistent flow :)
    nd making us to read the post over n over....

  8. great job boss...........

  9. nice way of expressing ur feelings......to whom it is dedicated??.......she is the lucky one!!!

  10. wow! man ur work waz really 2 gud .................

  11. arjun says:

    Hey ! Nice 1 !! Nd as Pooja said try refining the end !! And a great start !! Expecting Lots more frm u !!!

  12. If this is your first attempt , dude its really superb!!!You have expressed the emotions perfectly and yeah , it seemed as if you abruptly finished the poem although you could have the emotions flow for few more lines..on the whole - a reallyy good one :) keep it up :)

  13. vineet says:

    awesumm...tochin to d core as i said..loved it..i tooa rote a poem on this topic THE-BREAKUP..http://123vineet.blogspot.com/2009/10/break-up_13.html

  14. Pratik says:

    Nice and so Touchy .

  15. Anonymous says:

    is this ur first poem?? defenitely doesnt seem so.. amazing dude.. drawn me into a world of lechery expressions and intense passion, gr8. I would like to know that girl!!!

  16. nikhil says:

    is this ur first poem?? defenitely doesnt seem so.. amazing dude.. drawn me into a world of lechery expressions and intense passion, gr8. I would like to know that girl!!!

  17. vamsi says:

    @all thanks for ur comments.. yeah this is my first poem and there is no such gal..:P

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