BEHIND THE SCENES


We often come across many people in this world..Few of them are insignificant and few of them remain significant in our lives..And we call those significant ones as FRIENDS..I was just wondering what is the underlying phenomena of making friends with a person..After having analysed few friendships I was amazed to see that a significant proportion of the them have a selfish motive behind..Oh my goodness have a look at these contexts which I came across, a number of times when it comes to making friends..

--> An entity X is friends with an entity Y because Y is popular among a certain group of entities..There exists an entity Z that is known to Y..Entity X uses Y as an opportunity to open up doors of conversation with entity Z..(This we see often..Specially when X and Z are of opposite genders..)

--> An entity X is friends with an entity Y because Y studies well..By being friends with Y, X assumes that Y will probably play a significant role in moulding his/her career or in accomplishing short term goals in technical aspects..(This part of the shit is what I hate the most..)

--> An entity X is friends with entity Y because Y is rich..By being friends with a rich Y, X assumes that life is jill-jill-jinga..X can have all the fun when Y is around because Y pays for X always and spends money for him/her..(Trust me, such people do exist..)

The list actually goes on and on..We are living in a highly socialized society where most of the friendships we see around us are predominantly driven by selfishness..Just question yourself..Why is he/she your friend??..Because he/she helps me??..or because he/she is fun to be around??..If your answers sound like this, then surely you need to work out on your friendships..Friendship never finds an answer for the above question..That is because a true friendship or bond is never based on logical reason..And such friendships are very few..Just try to analyze yourself to get a feel of this..Just close your eyes and question yourself, "Who are all my friends??"..The few names that spontaneously pop out of your brain stack are your true friends and the rest are just acquaintances rather than friends..You need to dig your brain harder to remind yourself of these acquaintances..

People often question me about why I restrict myself to a limited number of friends..They often consider this aspect of not opening up as socially awkward..Well, I really wonder..Being socially open to all may fetch you many so-called-friends but the point is how many of them are truly friends..Supposing that a very socially outgoing person claims to have 100 friends..Say after 20 years or so, would that person even bother to give a damn about these 100 friends of him/her??..Mostly no..Because at that time he would be socially moving along with a different set of 100 people and would probably claim them as friends(again)..So is this a friendship or a business contract of just being together for a short span of time??..This is why I actually limit myself to a lesser number of friends..I would opt for not having a friend rather than calling a selfish relation as friendship..But those friends of mine who were successful in building a golden pathway into the depths of my heart are the ones whom I will never forget in the course of life and will always cherish the moments I spend with them..When I consider a person as a friend, I would go to any extent for the sake of the bond that I share with them, even if it demands to turn against the world..Their pain becomes my pain..Their happiness becomes my happiness..It is an inbuilt behavior of mine that I care tooooo much about my close friends..In fact this attribute of mine also restricts me in making a bigger circle of friends..If I were having a few dozens of good friends, then it would almost mean like carrying half the world on my shoulders..Thank god I dint..:)

I just hope to remain the same even if people brand me as "socially awkward"..I also pray god to save the souls of those who fall into those entity categories X and Y that I had mentioned so that I would not bother to blog about them again..:P :)And yeah!!This post is dedicated to all those precious friends of mine..On the final note, a loving quote to all my loving friends that Ive made in life..

"Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, but somewhere in the middle we've become best of friends.." LOVE U ALL..:)

17 Responses so far.

  1. Yemiledu says:

    Hey VAmsi!
    Nice post! Makes me think what sort of friends I have.
    I have so so so many friends. A few are X-type and a few or Y -type but then again I have few others whom I call Best of the best friends and are truly my friends....for a life time!

    :~)

  2. Again the only word it comes is Wow !!! :) Your write soo very well ..Honestly , i too aint very 'social' as i believe in few but good friends ! Good write up ..and hey the 'jill-jill-jinga' was very cute :D ;)

  3. Nivedita says:

    Vamsi.. thus is the 1st time I read ur blog so promptly!! :)
    I agree with u..."The few names that spontaneously pop out of your brain stack are your true friends and the rest are just acquaintances rather than friends".. Good one!!!

  4. Shiva says:

    a very great and interesting post
    ur blog rocks
    keep blogging

  5. brutally honest! loved your post...majorly because my life flashed before my eyes...it was like having myself there in ur place..could relate so much!

  6. √ij@y says:

    hey Vamsi..Very nice post...and I am very friendly with all but I believe that making few gud friend is better..
    Keep writing

  7. Hmmm..!! People who are friends for reasons, somehow never stay with us for long. That's what I observed.. Friends by chance, coincidence, routine, some incident or a friendship that starts with even enemity might also retain for a long time!!
    nice description dude.. Good work!

  8. "Friendship"..A wonderful theme to write on..Coming to think abt it at this depth, it is indeed true that some friendships ain't that genuine after all..But let me tell you that, the x and y jargons u've put forth hold only when people are young and immature..At this stage, am sure all of us are unoppurtunistic in our friendship!:)..

  9. nikhil says:

    brought out many facts into light casting a shadow of cognizance to those having untrustworthy friends.I have a breathing example to quote that scenario in case 2 ( alanti vallatho connec cut chesukovali.. :D).how can one pretend to be a friend jus 4 the sake of some f*** business.yeah, i too shudder at them. One thing mua, v shud bow down with care even to those who profess to be our friends(but they are not) no matter whether they articulate the same warmth.They would soon realize our worth in big time...anyways, a sheer showdown to ur staunch friends like me... :):)

  10. ganti pavani says:

    gr8 post as always!
    i do agree to the categories of frnds mentioned.many of my frnds(so called),fall in those contexts.
    one of my bestest frnd( used to be in school dayz)got cut off with me immediately aftr fetching a bf for herself.
    chii...... i feel ashemed to tell dat she ws my frnd once.
    nyways... gud going....ur blog rox!

  11. Nethra says:

    You are tagged. Check my blog.
    http://otioseopinions.blogspot.com/2010/02/tagged-so-here-i-am.html

  12. Nethra says:

    I haven't read this post of yours. I will do it as soon as I get time. :)

  13. Nethra says:

    Arey, you shld answer the same questions and tag 5 other ppl. Not me.

  14. Nethra says:

    It was a nice quote. :)
    I'm an extrovert, but i don't have many friends.
    Nice post! :)

  15. surbhit says:

    hey
    nice post,
    liked the way you explain your point of view
    and i was thinking what kinda friends i got

  16. Abhinav says:

    I wasn't very keen on spending too much time reading blogs earlier. That's why you see me commenting two weeks after the post's been put up. I think differently now though and you have a role to play :)
    Coming to the post now..
    Great clarity in expression! Knowing you since a decade also helps :)
    About the contexts which you've mentioned, I don't think we can find too much fault with people having a motive behind chosing a certain person to be friends with. We all have our motives behind making this choice. But once we become good friends, we don't really think about them anymore. If a person betrays you after being good friends with you, then you have a reason to be mad.
    Having a ton of friends may not help you in terms of emotional support or anything but it never hurts to have a strong network. If nothing else, it atleast broadens the scope for finding an amazing friend.
    I love the thoughts though. I appreciate you being choosy in making friends. I feel like I am actually having a conversation with you during our 8th std. year :)

  17. Well written vamsi and how very true! In fact, my mom always used to tell me not to be so generous and helpful towards friends just because they mis-use your naivety and when their work's done they don't even care about your existence. I have been bitten quite a few times so I am really sour about making friends easily. But then yeah, there are exceptions too who are really true friends. I call them "the 4am friends".. :)

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