Culture, Era & Love


Father / Mother : Aren’t you ashamed of what you have done ?

Son/Daughter : Falling in love is nothing to be ashamed of.

Each one of us might have come across these lines, not just once but many times. If not in our real lives at least in those reel lives. So what is it that decides the fate of love between a girl and a guy specially in a country like India where in our ancestors and forefathers never even dared to think of love-before-marriage. Even today, most of our parents claim that to fall in love is more like a sin or at least they do not consider it something appreciable.  On the other hand, we have the younger generation who have their middle fingers pointing towards the orthodox customs and traditions followed in India. Within a single family itself, we can find a father/mother empathizing with the former notion of love whereas the son/daughter is exactly of the opposite notion. Is this what we call as the generation gap ?? If yes, what is the thing that makes this gap so significant ?? What sort of influence does this generation gap bear on the evolution of human species ??

To me, there exists an evil that is responsible for all this confusion. Ever since the independence, relations between countries have grown to an unimaginable extent by means of television, newspapers and other media. Prior to the existence of media, Indians of the medieval era remained intact with all the traditions and cultural factors that were passed on to us from our great ancestors. That is the reason why we don’t find too much of generation gap in those olden days. Ever heard of your great grandfather fighting with his dad to marry your great grandmother ?? No, you wouldn’t. That’s because there wasn’t much generation gap between them. As time passed on, the post independence period witnessed newer inventions in the field of media like Television, Internet, etc that swept away boundaries between nations and made the world shrink. I personally feel that this change had had its share of bad influence on our culture too. We, Indians have always been trying to imitate and adapt the foreign methodologies under the cover of the big word called WESTERNIZATION may be because, after the independence we no more had the the moral strength to believe in our ancient ideologies. Lest we not only invited westernization into our political and economic issues but we also waved the green flag for it to invade our traditions and culture.

It really intrigues me to think about how we have just been puppets of time unable to withstand the effects of foreign influence. Consider the genres of film made in the mid 1900’s. Films that solely dealt with subjects like mythology, fight for freedom, etc. slowly witnessed a paradigm shift towards love stories. Interestingly, the male protagonist who was deprived of the girl’s love took up a whisky bottle, hovered himself with a brown shawl and called himself as Devdas. After a decade or so, roles like Devdas were no more, the hero was then ready to fight with his rich girl friend’s father’s chamcha goondas. This trend persisted for a long time, except for few changes that are worth noticing. Since then, the silk worms started thanking the film industry as we can see that the length of the girl’s costume got drastically cut down from a saree to skirt and skirt to a two-piece suit. Adding to this, love that was limited to love letters broke bonds and reached the next level of lip locking now. This example is suffice to prove the extent of foreign influence on us.

I personally feel, the inventions in media beget more influence on our cultural aspects thus creating a wide generation gap between parents and children effecting their individual opinions in matters like love and other issues. I don’t think I would be seeing so many people around me falling in love if they wouldn’t have watched Dil to Paagal hai or some lame ass love story. One might argue with this but, to me, what I stated is a fact. Say if things like Television and Computer never existed, then how many of the youngsters would possibly know about what falling in love is ?? The worst part of the story is that we can’t really find a way to fight the influence. One is because the inventions in media like social networking never cease to stop thus making this a never ending chain reaction. And the other is that, we, youngsters are too comfortable with foreign culture rather than our very own traditions. We are reluctant to preserve or  follow what exists in our traditions and hence we widen the gap between us and the generation that precedes us.

This is why we find issues like love having different perspectives in different generations. Parents might consider falling in love as a shameless disgraceful act.We, The younger lot quarrel, oppose and hurt their feelings failing to understand that it is just a matter of cultural difference that is making them say those words. It is but natural that a person who knows nothing about love before marriage would find it embarrassing to see his/her kids getting indulged into such stuff. We, as youngsters fail to understand their emotions but think of them as being stub-born because love before marriage is something very happening and common to us. Probably we will never understand them until we get old and swap places. One fine day our very own kids will come back to us and say, “Dad !!! I am going to the striptease club to have fun.” We argue with them claiming that it is a shameless act to visit such a place but to them it would be something very common and happening at that point of time.

9 Responses so far.

  1. nikhil says:

    the generation gap has been consistently hitting a new low. I totally acquiesce with your standpoint. The influence of Media boiled down to dire generation gap. I liked ur diplomatic nature in this post as u didnt bring any mistake of neither the parents nor the guys to the fore. N yeah! i wanna argue regarding the reason to fall in love. Of course, wat u stated is true but not felicitous in some cases :P

    I caught the sight of one more division in this generation. Its impossible to propel a few into the love stream, however honest-to-goodness feelings u possess. v cant enfeeble that stern grip as they have already dug their heels against such feelings (or love). U can consider this as an appendage of ur post, not withstanding that its irrelevant to the title:)

    Anyways, Gr8 fact-finding job. Credit to ur fathomless observation. Articulated very well :)

  2. vamsi says:

    I thought you won't like this post :P I am glad that you agreed at least with some part of the post :) And when it comes to the reason to fall in love, It is but obvious that you would say that ;) hehehe :P :D Anyways thanks for the comment buddy :))

  3. Nethra says:

    You are not completely right. Remember Radha Krishna? They were in love with each other before marriage. Not only Radha but so many girls were in love with him. And what about Rukmini. She eloped away with krishna. And Arjuna was in love with Satyabhama. Draupadi married 5 guys and Srinivasa married padmavathi though he had lakshmi. Well, when our gods sing the glory of "love" why don't our parents allow us to fall in love?

  4. Devarani says:

    Nethra, probably that is the difference between culture and religion. Though I am an Indian by root, and yes, I am a Hindu but my culture is quite different from yours. I am a Malaysian and my culture is largely influenced by different aspects here. What is right in your culture, it may not be right in mine though we are both Hindus. Just my 2 cents :)

    And as for the post, I can't agree more. Especially how we are so much influenced by the media and Westernization to the extend that we believe our culture is not "as cool as" the western's.

  5. Samadrita says:

    I agree and disagree with you. Since with the progression of time sensibilities are bound to change. And I think even our parents are slowly adjusting to the idea that youngsters will do as they please. It's futile to try and impose their own decisions on their kids. And hence same time parents of the present generation are much more open-minded and flexible. These days our moms are just like our best friends...but if we rewind to some 20 years back such a thing was unimaginable and we were required to see our parents only as figures worthy of our respect and unconditional devotion.

  6. I like your writing style in this one, simple but yet elegant! Completely agree with your thoughts..The last line is the best, totally hilarious!:D

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  8. vamsi says:

    @Nethra I go with Devarani's words. She has given a good reply to your thought. But I really appreciate your thought process. I didn't think of it in that way at all. :)

    @Devarani Hey thanks for those words rani. Glad that you agreed and understood perfectly what I was trying to convey :) If not for you I would have struggled to answer Nethra :)

    @Sam Totally agree with your point :) Like I said before it is just a change in culture that brings out differences in opinions and behaviour be it positive or negative. What you said about mom's being friendly now is a positive aspect of the influence. Again I must appreciate the thought process here. I didnt think of it in that way :)

    @Divya haha. Thanks. I tried to be professional in this post unlike the other posts that Ive writtern :)

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  9. DKC says:

    Well another point to be considered is that when someone tells his parents that he is in love, the first thing they think is that what will happen to their prestige. They say where should we put our face if you marry this girl or this boy.

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