Confessions of a Love-aholic

In the midst of the mundaneness that has engulfed my life over the recent past, It is your graceful smile that keeps the child in me alive giving me a reason to celebrate the essence of unconditional love. It is when I picture those deep tantalizing eyes of yours, I realize that life is worth living.

In those late hours of every serene night, when I stare at the starry sky, I realize that my love for you and this never ending blue sky share a secret that is untold. For their vastness just remain to be the same no matter how fast years fly. You are the last conscious thought that remain to persist in my mind before I slip into a good night’s sleep. Sleep is just a behavioral dormant state of rest but this innocent heart of mine never fails to beat for you. For it is never tired of thinking about you. At times in deep sleep I feel the warmth of your grip firmly held within the spaces of my fingers, In that moment I sincerely pray god to freeze this moment forever but as always, reality remains too harsh to believe. I soon realize that it is just a dream and once again I find that I cannot sleep. Science says that people spend two thirds of their lives in sleep. If that is true, I wouldn’t regret death in my last moment because I would be glad that I had spend two thirds of my life with you in my sleep.

In the middle of the day, as I continue to pen through lines of code to design software, my mind portrays random glimpses of your radiant face that continues to haunt me as always. And then I take a deep breath with a loud sigh and let out a random smile looking at this sweet misery of how you remain to persist in my brain like an unterminated daemon thread. As the day meets the dawn, I walk in peace on the streets alone listening to random songs on my playlist. That’s when a beautiful song catches my attention and forces me to think of you again and all over again just like I never did. For every strumming on the guitar, I feel the heat of my love for you gushing out of heart like a champagne. Sometimes I stare through the window looking at the rain droplets that strike the ground, the heavenly aroma of mud stirs up a blissful sensation in the spine, that’s when I see you everywhere around me, in the fragrance of the mud, in the sound of the rain droplets, in the chillness of the cold breeze and everywhere else. And then I continue to love you even more and so do I long for you once more.

My love for you is rooted firmly deep down within the brims of my soul, for what else do I ask from life ? I even dare not to ask for your love in return, for what is such love that expects something in return. I would remain blissful staying on the giver’s end, always showering my love for you till my last breath no matter how harsh you act on me in life. No matter how much I talk about it, No matter how much I write about it, this unfathomable love of mine for you continues to explode deep down within my heart. That’s when words fail to express what feelings could convey !!!

17 Responses so far.

  1. nikhil says:

    The fulsome love propelled an extremely solicitous demeanour. I am downright pragmatic and take no pains to conceal the facts. Still, I was forced to take up the discipline that was against my natural propensity. Out of my preferential disposition of bashing in a competition. My disillusion with life at being turned down was deep, became indifferent to my charms and now I prefer solitary life. There it goes! An aggregate of all this is 'A bee in my bonnet about her'. Nothing short of a miracle can save me from those clutches. Deperate need of someone to mollify with endearing words. It demands consummate skill to empty my quiver of extraneous thoughts. If only I pause to ponder, there are plethora of good things around me that far outnumber the bad. I believe keeping myself from trespassing into her privacy is utopian, as this can never happen.

  2. nikhil says:

    Like a child I gazed in artless wonder

    Wanna use the cobbler's awl for piercing my pathos

    It appears like she commands a subtantial following through sheer charisma

    the cohorts of a plundering group came down in band of trained soldiers and destroyed me

    I was instigated to commit a wantonly vicious act

    Punishment for grave crimes reflect the revulsion felt by me as I trace myself a few months back

  3. nikhil says:
    This comment has been removed by the author.
  4. nikhil says:

    Dude!! First of all, sorry to spatter on ur blog:) Triggered by my characteristic impulsiveness, I jus felt like givin a sequel. Please dont mind :)

    About the post, I am stoned n tear-gassed. Loved every expression in it esp spending two thirds life in sleep, deamon thread and every word in the last para is spectacular. The way you projected how such guy dwells on those thoughts is exquisite.Throughout the life of a love-aholic there lies a dormant spark that is kindled by music, rain droplets, aroma of mud............ Wow!! splendid stream of words man. If u dont mind, I wanna take facsimile of this post :)

    I guess u plumbed the depths of such immense feelings first time :D

  5. vamsi says:

    I see that the post has stirred up some emotions in you. Very evident it is :P The Sequel is good, you should have kept it on your blog dude :P Thanks Anyways :)

  6. P@V@NI says:

    VAMSEE....... :)
    I simply wanna say.....

    beautiful imagination,
    impressive language,
    outstanding effort,
    spectacular post !
    I loved it !!
    All d best ;)

  7. "you remain to persist in my brain like an unterminated daemon thread!!!!"...That's a good line ;-D!!!
    And, yes, some experiences like "love" are best articulated by the inaudible language of the heart !!Words can't replace the feeling, but,I must say, you've done enough justice to it !!!

    A 'neat' Job !!!:-)

  8. Its like the bubbling magma inside the earth comes out, rarely, but with a thundering impact..!! The deep hidden feelings are always in the back of our head.. disturb our dreams, day,.. always pondering in thought...
    I liked ur blog.. very meaningful :)

  9. Vamsi...To pen down the feelings you go through when you are in love is not an easy job...but you have done an amazing deal here...You have perfectly expressed on paper this inexpressible it totally...!!

  10. nikhil says:
    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
  11. Mahima says:

    What a subtle way to describe one of the best feelings in the world!! very well written..keep the good work going Vamsi :)

  12. Nethra says:

    Who's she vamsi? I'm really curious now. Btw, nice write up. I could feel your "love" for "her". :P

  13. Vamsi says:

    @Poo, Swetha, Pavani, dee Thank you all :)

    @Mahima Thanks for dropping by Mahima for the very first time :P :)

    @Nethra It is totally an act of creativity Nethra, there is no such girl :)

  14. Nandhini says:

    With no girl, if you can write this, I cannot imagine what can come down on this blog when that dream girl of your's arrives. I wish you find that great lady soon. Very impressive Vamsi. Its a truly a gift! Yet another post of your's I feel like sharing on my blog :) Good going!

  15. amit says:

    solid one bro...this explain the REAL LOVE story of a software engineer!!!!
    I dont hv a word to explain the hidden charisma inside it......
    i can just say its simply awesome..!!!!!

  16. Well Vamsi, should say that you have portrayed different emotions in a very beautiful and artistic manner. I especially like the way you bring out how different aspects kindle thoughts abt "her". Btw, the software analogy is hilarious!:D

  17. its very good nice work man its look like real and blog is also good
    Urdu poetry

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