The Exterminated Ex


Being a teetotaler, a full bottle of rum took quite a toll on my body. I woke up with a painful headache not remembering what I had done last night. All credits to my ex, I never thought that I would wake up with a hangover. I cursed myself for the love that I had for her. Anyways I didn’t regret it. I walked towards my desk to grab a couple of tablets to move on with the day and I caught an eye of my diary on the desk. As I was drunk on the previous night, I presumed that I might not have accounted yesterday’s happenings. So I casually opened it, And surprisingly I found that I had scribbled something in it when I was drunk last night. I sat down to carefully read what I had written in such a state of consciousness.
March 25, 2011
Dear diary,
What the f*** have you been doing all these years? Living life like an ass****. Deliberately preferring James Blunt’s lovelorn songs in spite of being in a mood for some quality kickass rock music. What the hell is wrong with you man? Did you ever realize the depth of the deep sh** that you have been in all these years thinking about your ex? You’ve flatly denied proposals from elegant ladies and deliberately ignored all the hot chicks in the town who were desperate to hook up with you. F*** you !! F*** your love for you ex !! What has the she done to you? Did she f***ing bother to pull you out of the s*** you’ve been in. Did she f***ing care to show you concern even for once in your lifetime post break up? Rather she comfortably found a d***-headed douche bag for herself probably to meet with the her personal ahem ahem desires. I bet he couldn’t be half the man you are considering the levels of excitement that you can offer. Come on now!! You know what I am talking about!! You very well know that you can take on three at a time.

Well, I am totally f***ed up with your she-should-be-happy-with-him shit. What the f*** dude? You’ve already seen how he looks right!! A total local bastard from a village who would look great with a beedi in his f***ing mouth and probably with a white lungi folded up to add up to his s** quotient. I bet people would gladly vote Nithyananda as the hottest among the two of them. It reminds me of the times you kept convincing yourself sounding like a godfather that they make a good couple. Yes, they really do. Why the f*** do you overlook the fact that she looks ugly now? Yes she really really does. You consider yourself as a man of class. You don’t buy local brands. You don’t mingle with low lives. You don’t even dine at local dhabas damn it!!. Now did you ever dare to wonder how awkward it would be for you to accept such an ugly duckling and take her into your circle? Idiot!! Now, don’t you fucking dare to convince yourself that she may be ugly outside but beautiful inside. Hell with you and your lame thoughts!! Who in the world would find a guy soon after a fresh breakup session? Did she give a damn about the tonnes of tears that you shed? Did she ever care to realize what you were going through all these years? Did she have the slightest idea about all the sacrifices that you’ve done in your life which would never be considered as sacrifices by her on the first hand? The world is a f***ed up place my dear friend!! Nobody gives a damn about your sanity. Get over the crap. You’ve lost nothing. You would’ve been one among the f***ed up local bastards if you would’ve consider continuing with you ex. Everything happens for good, just like the last peg of alcohol that you gave me. Do you think Abhishek Bachchan would ever regret his breaking up with Karishma Kapoor? He might happily be knocking up Ash in this moment right now. Who takes credit of the sh** that happens in life dude? What fucking happens just fucking happens because it is fucking meant to happen. Now come on !! Go and get me one more bottle of rum. I totally want to dance to Munni Badnaam Huyi Darling tere liye, darling tere liye…
Few more crazy meaningless lines followed the Munni badnaam huyi chapter. I was startled if I was the one who wrote it. I never knew that there was such a retarded alter ego with in me. Who knows? It might actually be the reason that kept me going through all these years. Now I feel as relieved as a person who finds a toilet after battling with the need to go to the loo. SHEESH !! What am I saying? May be I am still drunk !! *Hickkk*
PS: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Smile with tongue out

PPS: The use of expletives and abusive language is just an attempt to spice up the creative content and is not meant to portray offensive content on the web.

15 Responses so far.

  1. Awww... I want to be friends with your alter-ego and not you..! Your inside person is so sensible man... Learn from him..!! Dont be this filmy-shah rukh khan guy..!! Be Beera.. :P
    Interesting blog..!! :)

  2. vamsi says:

    And again Poo, you do this mistake of presuming this post is real :P It is just a creative work madame :)

  3. amit says:

    I cant believe it dude,this is fucking awesome man......!!!!!
    Is this written by such a calm and composed man??
    so much of anger hidden inside u....
    i m fond of ur blogs dude...
    keep it up nd keep blogging bro:)

  4. vamsi says:

    @amit Thanks Amit :) This is written by the same calm and composed man that you see everyday. It is just a piece of fiction :)

  5. swetha says:

    Swami Nityananda ?? HOT ??!!(ROFL) Insane Imagination (even for someone who is completely sloshed :-p:-p)...

    'F***ing' "awesome", though : the "feelings/expressions" of betrayal!!!:-p;-D

  6. vamsi says:

    hahaha !! Thanks swetha !! :) Finally I find a reader who reads fiction as fiction :D :)

  7. Samadrita says:

    Why did you censor the word 'sex'? It isn't considered profane.
    This was a good read. Although why would a perfect man fall in love with such an imperfect girl and even miss her when she left him for another man? Human sentiments are hard to get at times. Well written!

  8. vamsi says:

    Just to cut down on the intensity of the blog Sam. People are keenly observing the abusive way of presenting but they are hardly understanding what the protagonist in the post is going through. I felt that you have read the post in between the lines. Kudos and Thanks :)

  9. Aman says:
    This comment has been removed by the author.
  10. Aman says:

    vamsi, u r hell as crazy dude..this blog n confession of a love-aholic.... so much wat i've been thru.... the only thing, these r fiction 4 u bt they've happened wid me...
    did v sit down on a drink some day n i poured out all of it to u????:P :P...
    neways a nicely written blog..might inspire me to move-on...hehehe!! keep up d good work ;)

  11. Nethra says:

    I wonder whether he really loved her because all he spoke about was her looks and bedding her or she going to bed with someone else other than him. Sex, though a part of love, isn't love on the whole. Nevertheless it was a good read. :)

  12. vamsi says:

    @Aman There is no chance for that to happen coz I don't drink buddy :) ANyways I am glad that this might help you in getting over your past :))

    @Nethra He was drunk Nethra. That's the reason why emotions were on raw level. And check out the lines "Dont you dare say that she is beautiful inside". So here he was worried abt what she was from within too. The aim of the post is simple, he wanted to show anger. He did it.

    For example: Calling someone as a bad hearted person would never be considered as displaying anger rather calling him/her as an ass**** or a b**** would display anger. You got my point ;)

  13. sushruth says:

    Great one blogger.. ! I know how it feels when you script this down .. I know you will convince the world that this isn't true,before that try convincing your heart..
    check any random posting of mine., PS will be identical.. ! But ...................

    @Pooja Reddy : You are true.. :) vamsi should be a beera..

  14. Vamsi says:

    @Susu Mama nuvvu antha excite kaku. heart antunnav convince antunnav. Antha scene ledu akkada. :D :)

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